A space pirate like me doesn’t have a very long life expectancy. We don’t always have a clever way to escape a jam like in the comic books. Lord Glare had set the perfect trap and I walked right into it. What I thought was your run of the mill strip club called “The Bottomless Pit” turned out to be an actual bottomless pit. I’ve been falling for six weeks now I think. I screamed for two days straight before I calmed down and realized that I might be falling for a long time so I best save my energy. Then I just got bored. I slept for a while and had that dream again where I show up to work in my underwear. Why don’t I ever notice that I’m in my underwear on my way to work? It’s always me getting to work and then being like “Oh, shit! Why didn’t I wear pants? I stopped and talked to that guy on the street for like three minutes and he didn’t even say anything. This is not like me!” It’s a relief to wake up from a terrible dream like that even when you wake up to more falling. Finally mastered going to the bathroom in mid air though. The first time I tried it I just got a lot of stuff in my mouth and ended up throwing up a lot. Getting hungry. They always leave that part out. The real enemy in a bottomless pit is the hunger. Every once and a while I’ll pass another person who is also falling. I try to skip all the polite stuff like “How bout this fall, huh?” and just skip to ” I must eat you to survive!”
So how does one keep a positive attitude when it’s clear that they will be descending into darkness for the rest of their life? Well, I don’t let it get me down. So I got thrown down a bottomless pit, does that mean I have to stop living my life? Of course not, I still have dreams after all! I’ve always wanted to be a real estate agent and I think there’s some real growth potential here in the bottomless pit (thinking about changing the name to Eternal Meadows. Just sounds nicer). Of course I mentioned the idea to another guy who was also falling and now he’s going to start a real estate business too. Whatever, competition is a good thing I guess. I’m hoping to get a Target built here soon so we can attract some families to the bottomless pit and really give this place a neighborhood feel. I don’t have the ability to pick where I live, but maybe I can help make it a better place.