Grand Slam Bunt

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In my 43 years on earth I’ve come to realize that there are two kinds of people in this world: People who CAN bunt and people who CAN’T.  Well actually, I guess there are a couple of other types of people as well:  

  • People who can “kinda” bunt
  • People who bunted once by accident
  • People who don’t believe in bunting
  • People who are open to believing in bunting but need more proof
  • People who use to bunt but don’t do it so much anymore since they had the baby
  • People who don’t realize they can bunt but then when a ball is hurled at them, they just instinctually bunt -all Jason Bourne style
  • People who still haven’t told their parents they bunt
  • People who use to bunt every day but now it just makes them paranoid
  • People who believe they bunted in another life
  • People who secretly bunt in the bathroom stall on their lunch break
  • People who are drunk and trying to say “Fuck Bunting” but it comes out “Butt Fucking” 
  • People who are drunk and trying to say “Butt Fucking” and they mean “Butt Fucking”
  • People who believe that bunting is actually less than 10,000 years old
  • People in third world countries who have never even heard of bunting
  • People who think bunting started to suck when they added that keyboardist
  • People who don’t believe children should be allowed to bunt until they’re 36
  • People who are bunting everyday in their own communities and don’t even realize it.  Big thanks to those folks!

That said, I still feel like you can filter all those people into either a “can bunt” or “can’t bunt” category.  I was on the train this morning looking at all the people and thinking about how the only thing that really separates us all is that some of us know how to gently tap our bats against a fast ball and some of us don’t.  I actually can’t bunt myself.  I’m a property manager for a few buildings in Wheaton, Il.  Doesn’t mean a guy can’t stare out the window and dream though, right?

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One response to “Grand Slam Bunt

  1. yeah you can be all coy and shit but your words tell me, like an ex-girlfriend who’s pregnant again, that Steve O’brien don’t know SHIT about the bunt.

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