TWINIWT

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There’s a lot you probably don’t know about twins.  For instance, you’ve probably heard that most identical twins speak to each other in their own language.  But did you know that the language they’re speaking in is usually just their best impression of Robert De Niro in the movie Analyze That.  It’s true.  Twins can usually sense when the other is in some kind of danger, even when they are in different locations.  They can also sense when the other twin lends a movie to a guy they barely know.  There have been documented cases of twins who have sensed the exact moment when the other wished he’d gone to the ATM earlier in the day before the bank gets too busy . . . even though they were standing in completely different places in their studio apartment.  Male twins can’t see each other’s shadow but they can tell when the other twins’ penis awkwardly slips out of their boxers while they’re in public.  It’s not like any one can tell because they’re still covered by their pants but it stills feels like you are out of you’re comfort zone, you know? Twins still aren’t allowed in Kentucky or Nevada.  Some twins are so identical that they can’t tell themselves apart.  If two twins were to kiss it would disprove the existence of God.  If one twin dies the other twin must always pretend to be them at parties by excusing themselves to go to the store and then reappear as their brother or sister.  When one twin falls asleep the other twin does as well.  That’s why they always call each other before they have to drive a car or go to the movies.  Twins get into all restaurants for free if they’re dressed alike.  When one twin is having sex, the other twin senses it and must high five the person they are closest to.  These are the facts.

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