The Monsters Of Classical Music Tour

Holy Shit!  Last night me and my buddy Jason went to the Monsters of Classical Music concert and it was insane!  On this reunion tour they got all my favorites composers together on one stage:  Bach, Mozart, Beethoven and towards the end of the night Tchaikovsky showed up unannounced and jammed out for a couple of symphonies.  I shit you not.  But I’m getting ahead of myself here.  The night started with Bach descending from the ceiling with huge fireballs exploding behind him.  When he landed on the stage he just smiled and said “I told you I’d be Bach” and then he just launched into the Brandenburg Concerto!  The crowd went nuts!  He must have felt the energy in the place because he climbed the scaffolding on the stage and composed like a wild man from 30 feet off the ground.  It’s pretty hard to top an opening act like that but luckily Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was up to the challenge.  There were no theatrics for this guy, just pure fucking classical music!  He barely talked between any of the compositions and believe me, there were a lot of compositions!  He played a medley of his best operas, did most of his Requiem and went on a 20 minute jam session in the middle of his Symphony in B flat, No. 55.  Some of the crowd was a little bummed that he played so much new stuff but I thought it was cool hearing what he’s been working on lately.  Can’t wait to track down the bootleg of the show so I can hear it again.

Now the moment of truth had come, Beethoven was next.  The stage was completely dark and stayed that way for the first few minutes of  his Moonlight Sonata.  Then all at once, light flooded the place and there was Beethoven standing there in front of his orchestra.  He raised his head and yelled “I am The Hoven!” right as the the fucking clarinets began to swell.  What an entrance!  He blazed through all his greatest hits.  Some people requested some of his lesser known stuff but he just acted like he couldn’t hear them.  In the middle of his String Quartet No. 14 in C-sharp minor, opus 131 a guy jumped on stage and instead of having security remove the dude, Beethoven let the guy orchestrate the rest of the opus.  Once again, some of the crowd was annoyed because they didn’t spend $60 to see Joe Nobody lead the orchestra, but I thought it was cool and the guy was pretty good.  Then Beethoven thanked the crowd, said goodnight and left the stage.  Yeah right!  As if he was going to do a whole concert and not play his biggest single: Symphony No. 5.  So we stood there and chanted “Encore” for at least ten minutes before he finally came back out and played what we’d all been waiting for.  Bach and Mozart came out and helped out too and that’s when Tchaikovsky made his entrance as well.  All four of them with their backs turned to us just orchestrating the shit out that symphony.  The show was so good that I might drive out to Milwaukee tomorrow to see it again.  Plus I’d like to get one of those t-shirts that says “Bach’n’Roll” on it.

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