Guidance Counselor Rick

classroomHello and welcome to Glendale High School.  I’m your guidance counselor for the next four years (unless my modeling career takes off.  Just kidding! Look at me, I’m the opposite of a model!).  Anyways, my name’s Mr. Churndell but you can call me Mrs. Churndell (and get a knuckle sandwich!).  Kidding again!  I would never punch a student (I might kick them a little though).  Kidding once again!  But seriously, you can just call me Rick.  Little info about myself:  I am a Graffiti Artist.  But I don’t use my spray paint on buildings.  No way, that would be vandalism and that’s wrong.  I found that out the hard way when I was 16 and got caught spray painting the phrase “Jazz-Fusion Isn’t Going Anywhere” on the side of my dad’s garage.  Nowadays I actually buy sheet rock and use that as a pallet for my graffiti.  My wife let’s me use the bathroom in the basement as my studio.  The only problem is that it’s a little small in there so I will occasionally pass out from the fumes.  Let’s see, what else?  When I was 22 I tried to run across this great country of ours.  I didn’t make it very far though.  On the third day of my trek,  a raccoon chased me for almost two hours, bit me and gave me rabies.  Don’t worry, I got my shots.  The only time you will see me foaming at the mouth is in the cafeteria when they’re serving meatball subs!  It’s not because I like meatball subs, it’s just that one of the herbs in the meat triggers the foaming when I smell it for some reason.  The doctors are baffled by it and it’s just something I’m learning to live with. I guess the only other thing you need to know about me is that I have seen the band Rush over 70 times and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.  Now, I want to get to know you as well.  My door is always open if you ever want to talk about college or drugs or sex or physical abuse or mental abuse or your physical appearance or just want to talk about youtubes and the internet!  Also, I just found out yesterday, due to cutbacks, I will also be teaching French on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  So. . .Wow! We get to teach each other this mysterious language!


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