That Guy You Bump Into Every Two or Three Years

Hey man, how you been?  What’s been happening with you?  Oh cool, what’s that like?  Very cool, man.  And are you still with…?  What was her name?  Started with an “M” or a “N” I think?  She  worked at a bakery and was really into art or something, right? Gina!  That’s right, Gina.  How are you guys doing?  Oh, you guys only went out for a couple months before you broke up.  Wait, you broke up because you realized she was more into Nazi memorabilia then you were comfortable with?  Yeah, you’re right, hobbies can only go so far before they get scary.  I dated a girl who was obsessed with Bob Marley.  At first I was like “That’s kind of cool, he’s pretty good.”  But then after a few weeks I was just like “I get it! You really like Bob Marley!  Can we move on please!”  I guess that’s a little different than Nazi stuff but…anyways.  You seeing any one now?  Whoah, you got married?!  You have a kid!  That’s crazy.  Why is that so “crazy”?  Because the last time I saw you, you tried to punch through a car window just because that 15 year old kid with the Scarface t -shirt dared you to.  I know you almost the did it.  No one’s refuting that.  I know, Kia does make stronger windows than most cars.  Everybody knows that.  Well, that’s what I mean, you were a party animal.  It’s weird to think of you as a dad now.  Congrats.  Hey, how’s your dad doing?   You ran over him?!  With a car?  By accident?  Okay, that’s good.  For a second I was like “Whoa, stay away from crazy face over here.”  Is he okay? He’s fine?  How is that possible?  Oh, you weren’t going that fast.  Wow, that’s lucky. Oh, this your stop?  Well, it was good seeing you.  Take care.  Hey, say hello to your kid for me.  Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound as creepy as it did.  I don’t know why my voice got deep like that.  See you man.


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