When a man starts losing his hair he’s forced to start asking some pretty tough questions. Questions like:
“Will I ever fuck again?”
“Who will fuck me now?”
“Maybe she’d fuck me?”
“Is it wrong to trick someone into fucking me?”
“If I don’t fuck something soon I’m going to kill someone…?”
“What’s the address of that massage parlor in Chinatown?”
The answer to all your questions can be answered in one word: (The) Brosley (Corporation).
For the last forty five years our Brosley scientists and doctors have worked relentlessly on finding a cure for male pattern baldness. With new technological advances and the brightest minds working in their field, Brosley found a solution. Remember the days when you would shamefully hide your balding head under a measily baseball hat before you went out? Well, those days are over. Here at Brosley, we’ve created specially designed Brosley Baseball Hats for you to wear outside of the house. Hats that say “NOT BALD” and “FULL HEAD OF HAIR BENEATH HAT” and “IT’S A JUNGLE (OF HAIR) UNDER HERE.” No one will even suspect that you have lost your hair. Why would they? Every two months we will refit you with a new hat to fit the season (like “IT’S SUMMERTIME AND I’M NOT BALD.”)
Looking for a more permanent solution? Afterall, a hat can only take you so far because eventually you will have to take it off, right? WRONG. Here at Brosley, we surgically graft a hat onto your head so you will never even have to think about taking it off again. Afraid it will look unnatural? At Brosley, we take pieces of fabric from your already existing hats to create a more a natural looking hat. It’s a hat you can wear in the shower or in that new convertible you bought with all that money and gold you got with your new self confidence. After a few weeks you’ll find that spouses and coworkers won’t even be able to tell it’s not your real hat. The only problems you’ll have to worry about now are the things that actually matter.
Hide it with the best. Hide it with Brosley.
*Side effects include trophies and loads of pussy.