A Movie For Your Ears (And Also Your Eyes)

Hey everybody, film director Kent Bratner here. You might know me as the guy who directed the prequel to Dog Day Afternoon (called Dog Night Afternoon), the remake of Deer Hunter (called Clone Hunter), and the re-imagining of Serpico (called Monster-In-Law).  Just wanted my fans to be the first to know that even though I have not yet finished shooting my new film UNTITLED RYAN REYNOLDS/JASON BIGGS PROJECT, I have already begun production on the commentary for it. I am confident when I say that this is, without a doubt, the best commentary I have ever been a part of, bar none.  The anecdotes are like scripture, the inside jokes should be chiseled on stone tablets, and the production notes could be transcribed and taught at universities.  At one point Biggs tells a story about the lighting for one scene that gets so technical that we almost had to…well, you’re just going to have to hear it for yourself to believe it.  

Had enough?  Well that’s too bad because we got a whole lot more.  We’ve got cameo commentators dropping in just to party, including VING RHAMES, DAN CORTEZ, KELSEY GRAMMAR, and CALISTA FLOCKHEART all giving their take on the film (and mentioning how they wish they’d been asked to be in the actual film rather than just the commentary). Plus we’ve got RACHEL RAY stopping in to mention what her favorite scene was and teaching us how to make her world famous Low Fat Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble Cake. Then, just when you thought we couldn’t pack any more action into this commentary, we’ve got LINKIN PARK here to rock out over the credits with their new smash single “My Soul Got In A Car Accident.”  Still not satisfied?  Well, how about a few teasers to wet your appetite.  You’ll hear stories and quips like “Remember how cold it was that day?” and “She was nice to work with.” And that’s just a taste!.  

In fact, it was such a great experience that we went back and recorded a commentary of us listening to the commentary.  We had a blast commenting on our comments and complimenting our compliments.  At one point Ryan goes “Is that what I really sound like when I watch myself?” and Biggs goes “No, that’s what you look like when you smell yourself.” That’s just one of the many gems you’ll find when you listen to The Commentary of The Commentary. It should be out by next spring and be on the look out for the remake of the original commentary followed by a director’s cut of the original with added computer generated vocal effects.

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