Hey everyone – I’m posting this on behalf of my cousin Velour. She’s starting an all-girl punk band and is looking for members! They are called Savage Vag and they totally rock. You may have heard some of her previous bands, such as the popular mid-90’s all-girl ska band The Fallopian Tubas. And prior to that she played guitar in the folk duo Simon & Garfemale. There was also her experimental phase with Chumbawomba, but that’s all in the past. Now she’s turning over a new leaf with Savage Vag and is ready to rock. She just needs band members! SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY!
The only criteria to join is that you have to be a girl, hence all-girl band. That’s all! You really don’t even have to know how to play an instrument, as she’s totally open to experimentation. Her last band had a “musician” who just held a baby* in front of a microphone. Crazy, I know – but people will let anything pass as music these days. Anyway, the last three all-girl bands she tried to start, dudes kept showing up to the auditions dressed as women (don’t tell her, but I am going to do this). They thought that women couldn’t rock (don’t tell her, but I think this). So they’d join the band, thinking that they were going to “save” them and show these girls how to rock (don’t tell her, but this is my intention). But as it turns out, the girls really could rock, and those dudes all learned a pretty valuable lesson that girls can rock just as much as guys (don’t tell me, but I am going to learn this).
Think you have what it takes to rock? Sign up for your audition and let us know what “instrument” you play. In the meantime, I’m gonna go put on my best dress and show these girls how to really rock (even though I myself do not actually know how to rock)! My instrument of choice? This guy:
*Interesting fact: That baby went on to become NBA all star Kobe Bryant.