I’m not proud of this, but a few years back I was really hard up for cash and ended up participating in a few scientific experiments downtown. Pretty basic stuff like trying out new kinds of sleeping pills and one time they just monitored my reaction to getting a light bulb turned on in my face over and over again. Sometimes I worried that the “lab” looked more like an “abandoned wearhouse” and the “nice Columbia University undergrad scientists” looked more like “old grizzled Ukrainian scientists who had been excommunicated because of their extreme ideals and their complete and utter disregard for human life.” But I was making like 75 bucks a day. They led me into a chamber and told me to catch as much flying money as I could in 60 seconds, but that was a trick. Long story short: They cloned me. Multiple times. Very poorly. One clone is a total nerd. While another can’t get enough sports and loves the night life. One thinks Led Zeppelin is the most overrated rock band in history. While another thinks that Zeppelin were pioneers in the way they used basic blues chord structure to redefine rock and roll (and that the ending of Stairway is fucking mind blowing). One likes Zach Braff and Pepsi. Another likes Zach Braff and Pepsi One. They’re nothing like me! Or…perhaps I’m exactly like all of them, all at the same time. Perhaps we are more complex people than we’d like to admit. Sometimes we can’t fit a human being into one “personality type.” Perhaps all of my shitty clones represent all of the complexities that is the human condition. Now imagine us all living together in one house! And Keenan Ivory Wayans plays our lovable butler who can’t keep any of us straight. “What? Do all white clones look the same to you Keenan Ivory?”
Coming this fall to NBC:”Throw Me A Clone” Wednesdays at 9:30/8:30 Central.
-Steve
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