“Correctamundo!” Now Available as MP3 Download

For those of you who still haven’t purchased Team Submarine’s debut album Correctamundo!, you now have one less excuse. You can now purchase the album as an mp3 download and avoid those crazy shipping charges and unwieldy CD cases. Just point your browser here and click “Download Album.” Easy! And it’s still only $5!

And for you purists out there, you can still purchase the physical CD and get a limited edition Nate or Steve button and a hand-drawn piece of artwork. But hurry! Because supplies are running out very, very slowy!

Love Kindling

It seems like the only thing anybody cares about these days are Kindles and pornography. So as always, I figured I’d ca$$$$h in on this by combining literature and pornography. I swear this has never been done! Look for these titles coming soon (or should I say “coming suun”) to your Kindle:

Finally, A Video Game For Lazy People

Video games aren’t just for kids anymore. In fact, many adults now use them as an escape from the stress of their daily lives. But what about those who don’t do much of anything? The independently wealthy, the pot heads and the just plain lazy? Where’s their escape from the grips of procrastination and apathy? Introducing Productivity: The Game! This multi-player game allows you to inhabit a world where you can do all the things you put off doing in real life. Challenges include: paying your phone bill, going to the dentist, calling your mother, writing your congressman, balancing your checkbook and many, many more. The best part of Productivity: The Game is that it’s all in real time, which means the level where you help your friend move will take just as long as if you actually helped your friend move. Imagine the sense of accomplishment you will have once you beat the level that includes you finally reading The Kite Runner (actually we couldn’t get the rights to The Kite Runner so we created a reasonable facsimile called The Kite Jogger. You’ll love it!). Now you can finally hit the gym, apologize to an ex-girlfriend, and do some volunteer work all from the comfort of your own couch. Accomplish everything and enjoy the feeling of not being a loser… in the game, not in real life.

The Relationship

Six years ago I was on a routine mission to Mars when I was attacked by an alien life form. It burrowed it’s head inside me and immediately began living off my bodies nutrients. Doctors said that removing the creature would mean certain death for both of us. Without any choice, the two of us were forced to live together and have the whole thing filmed for VH1. At first it was tough, we couldn’t agree on anything. The alien hated it when I would have ketchup with my eggs and I hated it when the alien’s subconscious would bleed into mine and I’d have to witness his entire race being violently destroyed over and over again. Sometimes we’d even argue about our roles in the relationship. He would yell things like: “You may technically be the host, but emotionally, you’re a god damn parasite.” I’m no angel either. I’m guilty of calling him a virus, a leech, a deadbeat, and a mooch. I was correct in calling him all those things and he didn’t take any offense to it, but I’d still feel bad. Then about two years ago we met with a couples counselor and she suggested that we try having a symbiotic relationship: one where we can both benefit. Since that day it’s been smooth sailing. I provide the alien with the basic nutrients he needs to survive and in return I’m losing touch with other human beings and I can only see things in infrared. Try sneaking up on me now!