It Finally Happened!

We met Maroon 5! All of them were really nice guys who love nothing more than singing about relationships, ladies and blunts. We might even make a cameo on their upcoming album “Maroon 5’s Greatest Hits.” It’s not actually a “best-of” album, but rather 45 straight minutes of them just rippin’ some serious bong hits. Brian Eno produces it. Look for it this summer on iTunes. Or as they call it, HIGH tunes. MAN, those guys are funny! One time they were even like “Hey guys, we aren’t Maroon 5, okay?” And we were all like “then why are there five of you? And why are you all wearing the color black?” They thought this was so funny that they punched both of us in the face. Alright, Maroon 5. Turn it off, okay? We get it.

“Team Submaroon” photo by David Angelo.

How To Dismantle An Atomic Steve

I won a contest today!  Can you believe it?  I never win anything (well, unless you count winning the lottery for the last six consecutive years. I own eight boats and they’re all named SERPICO).  Here’s the deal, my friend Alex is a huge U2 fan.  He knows everything about them and owns all their albums (except their old stuff, he only likes the stuff from 2000’s).  He’s even in a U2 tribute band called “Me2″ where he plays the guitar and plays the part of the lead singer, Bondo. Anyways, U2 was having a big contest and Alex entered it.  He jokingly said I said I should enter too (actually he said “Steve, U2 should enter.” Get it?  This guy’s the best). So I just went for it and guess what? I won!  Not only did I win a chance to meet all of the guys in the band, but I also get to join the band forever!  That means I’ll be in the studio for the recording of their (our) new album and I’ll be going on their (our) next world tour.  I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS!  I’m kind of freaking out, but I’m sure I’ll pick it up along the way. Maybe I’ll play the sax and give U2 some third wave ska flavor. RUDEBOY! I’d ask Alex to teach me how to play all the U2 songs but unfortunately he killed himself after he heard I’d won the contest.  The guys in the band all have a pretty good sense of humor.  Last night I said “The Edge, more like the Edge of Insanity.” Me, Bonzo, and Michael Clayton laughed for a while after that one.  The Edge just silently smiled for a long time and then threw his guitar at me.  Being in a band is so much fun! See U on tour! love, Steve

Imagine me jamming out with these dudes.  BOOSH! DISCOTEQUE!

Makin’ It Big In NYC

As you’re probably aware by this time, we are now living in New York City. This is the city of opportunity and anything can happen here. It’s more than possible that any day some TV executive will just show up and say “I want to offer you guys a TV show,” and we’ll have to be ready for it (and then figure out how he got into our apartment). So we’ve been developing a show that we want to share with you guys. It’s called:

Shut Up, Dad. No, You Shut Up, Dad! and it’s the story of two men who are each other’s fathers. It’s a situation comedy (obviously!) and will have an All-Star cast featuring Nate Fernald and Steve O’Brien. We will be portraying the men who are each others fathers and hope that with the aid of CG graphics, we can be made to look something like this:

The babies in this photo aren’t ours, but are acquired in the episodes “Oops, We’re Having a Baby!” and “Rad Dadz!”

Now I know you guys are thinking “Okay, so they’re each other’s fathers. But what’s the twist?” Well twist you wanted and twist you shall get it: Though these men are each other’s fathers, there is an eight-year-old black boy who is father to the both of them! He’s the ultimate authority figure and is always making them wash dishes when they are supposed to be going on dates. This of course won’t happen until the six or seventh season when the ratings start to drop. It’ll be the new jumping-the-shark. So when a show starts to go a little overboard, people won’t say “Man, that show really jumped the shark!” anymore, they’ll say “Man, that show really eight-year-old black boyed!” Or maybe even “Man, that show really eight-year-old black boyed the shark!”

Here is a short sample list of some potential episodes you may see on Shut Up, Dad. No, You Shut Up, Dad:

-Shut Up, Dad. No, You Shut Up, GRAMPA?!
-Four Score and Seven Beers Ago
-Catch That Wife!
-Knuckle Sandwich
-UFO (Unidentified Farting Object)
-The Abortion Episode

Hopefully you’ll soon be seeing this show on a stellar ABC Monday night line-up along with some of our other shows, such as “Girl Town,” “Say What?” and “Are You There, God? It’s Me, Pizza.”