Orlando is a tough city to get by in. The rent is way too high and the comedy scene way too competitive. So we decided to take things down a couple of notches and start a little bit smaller. Thus we’re now living in New York City. Once we get our footing here, then maybe we’ll try wrangle The Big Orange.

That said, anybody in New York want to give us a show or many shows? Let us know!

We’ve been performing as Team Submarine here in Chicago for almost three years now. But sadly, the time has come for us to move to greener pastures. Thus Nate and Steve will soon be relocating to a place rich with opportunities. The heart of the entertainment industry. The heart of the country. Yes, that’s right: sunny Orlando, Florida! Sad as it is, there comes a time where you just have to let the caged bird go to Orlando. It’ll be tough to start over again, but mark our words, by 2018 Epcot Center will be the new home of Team Submarine: The 3D Ride Adventure Ride. And just a skip away will be Disney, with their revamped Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride Starring Team Submarine. We’re going to slowly gentrify all of Orlando’s entertainment spots until they are exlusively Team Submarine related. Goodbye, Magic Kindgom. Hello, Team Submarine’s Magic Kingdom.

But of course this won’t be without a proper goodbye. On Friday, April 18th we’ll be having our official Farewell Show at The Playground Theatre on 3209 N Halsted (right off of Belmont). It’s sure to be an evening filled with laughs, tears and pizza. The show starts at 10:00 PM and will have some of our favorite performers in the city. Hosting the show will be the wonderful Team Submarine, with opening act Team Submarine and then of course your headliner Team Submarine. The evening will be filled with some classic stuff, some new stuff and then even some exclusive stuff that may never be seen again. Hope to see you there!

Yes, you read right: Team Submarine is going to be doing a live taping next week at The Annoyance!  We’ll be taping for our upcoming, yet-to-be-titled CD and Cassingle.  We’re not even joking about this.  We’re seriously going to release a cassingle.  The Walkman is about to have a renaissance and we want to be on top of it.  We also may do a limited run of the album on laser-disc.  So please come and immortalize yourself as background noise on a compact disc.

The show is only $5 and it’s on a Wednesday.  I mean, what else are you gonna do on a Wednesday?  Play practical jokes on your younger brother?   Alphabatize your magazines?  Learn new swear words?  Wikipedia your friends?  Well that can all wait until Thursday, can’t it?  It can!  So please come out.  Become a part of a very unimportant part of history.  Also, the always-hilarious Jared Logan will be kicking things off.

As you may have noticed by looking at our calendar, the upcoming couple of months are pretty sparse for Team Submarine.  And what better way to change that than with a contest?  Thus we present to you the “Ride The Party Sub Competition.” If there’s one thing Team Submarine is great at doing, it’s not putting up our own shows.  We’re professional openers who have opened up for some of the biggest, funniest and most famous improv and sketch groups in Chicago.  And now YOU can win a chance to headline for Team Submarine. Simply send us an e-mail at teamsubmarine[at]gmail[dot]com with the below questionaire filled out.  We will then carefully skim over some the answers and if you are selected to win, you get to headline for Team Submarine! As the headlining act, you get to:

A couple of things.  First:  We’ll be performing an almost entirely new show this weekend at the Chicago Sketchfest.  Friday at 8:00 and Saturday at 9:00.  Same show each night.  Details here.

Also, if you’re a reader of Time Out Chicago, you may have noticed a certain article on page 66 in this week’s issue.  If you’re not a reader of Time Out Chicago, you most likely would not have noticed it.  And if that’s the case, you can read it here.  It’s an article we wrote about preparing for Sketchfest.  It also has a picture that shows how ridiculously taller Nate is than Steve.  Despite some editorial battles (they wouldn’t allow a full-frontal picture of Steve tearing out an elk’s lungs with his penis), we’re very pleased with it.   Thanks very much to Steve Heisler and Time Out Chicago.

You can currently buy the issue at places that sell Time Out Chicago.  And feel free to write Time Out and violently demand more articles from us.

Welcome to Team Submarine’s brand-new news-blog! We’ll be using this to post about whatever’s currently going on with us.  This will make the updating process much easier, so hopefully that means we’ll update more often.  Not too much going on right now, except that Nate got a pretty sweet back tattoo. Check it out:

If he flexes his shoulders it forms the Magna Carta!